Rainforest Cafe is a crown jewel among themed restaurants—and it’s one of the last of its kind left. It evokes memories of crowded malls, sticky birthday parties, and a featured cameo in 2009’s Paul Blart: Mall Cop. I was fortunate enough to grow up near one, in Michigan, but I only visited once or twice. After all, there was a recession going on, and I was under the impression that Rainforest Cafe was a luxury. In the summer of 2022—realizing that I could now spend my adult money as I pleased—I drove nearly two hours with my friends to Gurnee, which has the sole Rainforest Cafe in Illinois. I still recall the sullen gaze of an animatronic gorilla, silently judging my radioactively blue $20 cocktail. I…